Forum Index

 
 FAQFAQ   SearchSearch   MemberlistMemberlist   UsergroupsUsergroups   Join! (free) Join! (free)
 ProfileProfile   Log in to check your private messagesLog in to check your private messages   Log inLog in 

Left hand thried or right.....

 
Post new topic   Reply to topic     Forum Index -> Sciency Pless
View previous topic :: View next topic  
Author Message
Please Register and Login to this forum to stop seeing this advertising.






Posted:     Post subject:

Back to top
dosser



Joined: 28 Apr 2009
Posts: 676



PostPosted: Thu Aug 02, 2012 6:06 pm    Post subject: Left hand thried or right.....  Reply with quote

Ah wiz oan Mull fur a few days last week. Since gettin' hame, mah dug deleloped a wart on his snout...... 'cept it's no' a wart: it's a rapidly growing sheep tick.

Ah've hud this problem before wi' anither dug years ago, but Ah cannae remember whether ye remove them by turning them tae the left or right.

Ah think it's tae the left. Am Ah richt or wrang?
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message
dosser



Joined: 28 Apr 2009
Posts: 676



PostPosted: Thu Aug 02, 2012 6:43 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Weel, thanks fer nu'hin, ye useless shower. Ye're ower late.

It's drapped aff - somewhere in the hoose.

Whit's the next phase o' the tick's developement? Wi' my luck, it'll be a giant dosser-eating vampire tick.
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message
Celyn



Joined: 28 Apr 2009
Posts: 554


Location: Glasgow

PostPosted: Thu Aug 02, 2012 7:07 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

dosser wrote:
... Wi' my luck, it'll be a giant dosser-eating vampire tick.


Oh yes, I think you're right.   Alas, poor dosser, his time is nearly up. Tick Tock. Tick tock.

I never heard that thing about twist it to the left or right.    Interesting. Hey, mibbe it matters what side of the equator you are on.     Laughing

Once a friend's cat had a tick, and we took it to the vet.   Vet said "well, I see you are a new cat owner and concerned and if you want to come and give me money every time your cat gets a tick, that's fine, but what you can do is get a cigarette - no, shut up and never mind that you don't smoke - find a friend who does and borrow one or go into shop and buy a pack of ten - apply lighted cigarette to tick, tick gets unhappy and retracts, problem solved".

Turns out with a bit of googling, that is NOT a great idea as the unhappy tick might exude all sort of nasties into the wound.   Mibbe it was a really sneaky vet.   Laughing

I think ticks can give you Lyme disease before they turn into giant dosser-eating vampire ticks.
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message
dosser



Joined: 28 Apr 2009
Posts: 676



PostPosted: Thu Aug 02, 2012 7:24 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Lymes Disease....... No' sure I fancy that.

Shame aboot a' the joint pains, facial paralysis and ither symtoms, but lookin' on the bright side, maybe if I taste o' lymes, the giant dosser-eating vampire tick'll find me inedible.
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message
Celyn



Joined: 28 Apr 2009
Posts: 554


Location: Glasgow

PostPosted: Thu Aug 02, 2012 7:30 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Dunno, add a bit or gin or vodka to the limes ...... very palatable.

Oh, different kind of lyme.   I suppose it matters whether the vampire tick is good at spelling.  Will it be a literate dosser-eating giant vampire tick, d'ye think?
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message
dosser



Joined: 28 Apr 2009
Posts: 676



PostPosted: Thu Aug 02, 2012 7:36 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Celyn wrote:
I suppose it matters whether the vampire tick is good at spelling.  Will it be a literate dosser-eating giant vampire tick, d'ye think?


If it is, Ah'm saif.

(Akshly, Ah jist found the wee bugger. He wiz - Ah kid ye not - tryin' tae eat a leather setee. He has now suffered the same fate as Joan of Arc. Maybe in the fullness o' time, he'll be kent as Saint Giant dosser-Eating Vampire Tick.)
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message
Celyn



Joined: 28 Apr 2009
Posts: 554


Location: Glasgow

PostPosted: Thu Aug 02, 2012 7:43 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Oh, so you won't be needing us to write laments or epitaphs, then?  What a waste

Oh doctor quick
dosser is sick
bitten by tick
big vampire tick
end of dosser - tragic

Actually, dogs being dogs, I'm surprised the dog didn't try to eat the thing afore you managed to burn it at the stake.  Smile   Mine used to try to eat wasps, which I never thought very wise.
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message
Neil



Joined: 28 Apr 2009
Posts: 483



PostPosted: Thu Aug 02, 2012 9:39 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

For future reference (Ah got this fae a vet ae time oor dog got a tick) ye dab a wee bit alcohol on the wee bastard. It gets drunk an draps aff, then ye kill it.

Ye dinna need tae waste the guid stuff, surgical spirit will dae the trick.
_________________
Any society that would give up a little liberty to gain a little security will deserve neither and lose both.
Benjamin Franklin
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message
dosser



Joined: 28 Apr 2009
Posts: 676



PostPosted: Thu Aug 02, 2012 10:03 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Waste guid surgical spirit oan a fuckin' dug????

Thon stuff goes doon a treat wi a bit o' ice an' a twist o' lemon.
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message
Neil



Joined: 28 Apr 2009
Posts: 483



PostPosted: Thu Aug 02, 2012 10:10 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Shuidn't that be lyme rather than lemon?
_________________
Any society that would give up a little liberty to gain a little security will deserve neither and lose both.
Benjamin Franklin
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message
Celyn



Joined: 28 Apr 2009
Posts: 554


Location: Glasgow

PostPosted: Thu Aug 02, 2012 10:11 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

PLUS, you can always add a dash of meths for a wee touch of colour and sophistication.
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message
ozneil



Joined: 10 Mar 2010
Posts: 170


Location: Dee Why NSW

PostPosted: Sat Aug 04, 2012 12:28 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

meths is good for ticks dont pull the bastards off as they are liable to leave their head behind and it suppurates. Meths will kill them.
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message
notanimby



Joined: 21 May 2009
Posts: 575


Location: South Of The River, Doon Inverclyde Way

PostPosted: Sun Aug 05, 2012 7:43 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Celyn wrote:
PLUS, you can always add a dash of meths for a wee touch of colour and sophistication.


Only when you mix it wae milk, or is that the belaire am thinking of?

Back to top
View user's profile Send private message
Display posts from previous:   
Post new topic   Reply to topic     Forum Index -> Sciency Pless All times are GMT
Page 1 of 1

 
Jump to:  
You cannot post new topics in this forum
You cannot reply to topics in this forum
You cannot edit your posts in this forum
You cannot delete your posts in this forum
You cannot vote in polls in this forum

Card File  Gallery  Forum Archive
Powered by phpBB © 2001, 2005 phpBB Group
Create your own free forum | Buy a domain to use with your forum