Oh my god! I knew it! You're gay! I suppose deep down I always suspected but now that you've come out ... well, it's so obvious. What a silly young love-lorn fool I've been. Ah well, such is life; I'll get over it somehow.
What really upsets me is why you led me on, knowing all the time that you would rather be playing the pink oboe than having cucumber sandwiches with mater and pater and me down here my lovely little leafy cottage by the sea( there are very few cottages made of leaves in leafy England nowadays ).
Ah well, I suppose I'll return to the unsavoury arms of Merkin again. He's no oil painting but at least he's a tiger between the sheets and he appreciates a real woman. Unlike some I could mention ... ducky!
Heidie the gay DUMBartonite, haw haw haw
Jings ah didna ethink they hud evolved beyond homoerectus never mind awe ra way to homosexual
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