Archive for  
 


        Forum Index -> Screivin
Boudleaux C Merkin

Scary night in Glesca.

This happened tae me only last year. Me and the present Mrs Merkin and mah wee sister ( Boudleaux D Merkin ) hud arranged tae meet up wi' sum fowk Ah'd met oan the web, annat, in a pub doon by the Clyde.
There wiz a mist cummin' aff the watter and we could barely make oot the dim lights o' the boozer. We evenchully fun' the door and staggered in, cauld and no a wee bit apprehensive. The baur wiz empty. We sat doon and stared at each ither fur quite a while but mah sister wiz the furst tae crack.
"Whit dae youse want tae drink?" she said through gritted teeth.
"You should stoap eating that grit, " Ah replied wittily, " Ah'll huv two pints o' lager, a  babycham and vodka and a jumbo bag o' organic Mars Bar flavoured Hoola Hoops.
It wiz then that we a' heard a really weird sound coming frae a darkened corner. It wiz a voice , barely human and barely audible. We held oor breath and listened.
"Ra bloo wire goes intae ra bottom left an' ra broon wan intae ra bottom right."
A terrified Mrs Merkin clutched my arm - not my drinking wan Ah'm relieved tae say - "What is it, Mr Merkin, " she whispered.
"Ah think it's a leckie, " Ah replied, " They're a  usually harmless secretive creetchur. They'll tell ye they'll turn up next Tuesday moarnin' and the make an' appearance the following Easter Monday demanding Bank Holiday money fur being alive and breathing. They're harmless but expensive."
Just then the people Ah hud arranged tae meet entered the pub so Ah nipped intae the cludgie tae avoid huvvin' tae buy a round and by the time Ah deemed it safe tae re-appear the pub wiz brightly lit and full o' laughing smiling faces. Ah looked in the corner where the "leckie" hud been and found, tae mah surprise, a fairly normal looking man of modest height and sporting a smile inducing comb-over. His wee feet wiz barely touching the flair as he rocked back and forth oan his chair entanced by the hustle and bustle aroon' him.
Ah fun' oot his nemme but Ah'm no goin' tae repeat it on the open web ... just in case, ye know?
Heidy

Ra alledjid descriptions pertainin tae moi huv bin verified by ra great Senga tae be toatillie withoot foundation an ony refirinces tae cardies/combowers an ur slandiruus descriptions o me masel,will be met with scoarn an disdain...no tae mention a boot up the jacksie when Ah get haud o ra short arsed mop heidit nyaff that is pittin iss aboot.
In fact ra great Senga wull testify that Ah me masel huv stunned hur wi ma boayish guid luiks and seeminglie yooneek abilitie tae withstaun ra rigours o age....unlike the decrepit hulk o lard that cawes himsel Boo! Cool
SengaMcp

Eh?
Heidy

Doant you "eh!" me ye sais so yersel when ah belled ye ra ur nite an pit oan ra cam......


muttir muttir canny trust naewan nooadays..................
Hollowhorn

Heidy wrote:
ah belled ye ra ur nite an pit oan ra cam........


SengaMcp

Havers.

Ah wish ah luiked as young as that lassie. wit ye efter HH?
Hollowhorn

Naw naw naw, at's me sitting wi ma feet up, munchin' popcorn & waitin' oan the next installment o' you & Hedley's great cam adventure.  Laughing
Heidy

Hollowhoarns a wumminnnnnnnnnnnn, hollowhoarns a wumminnnnnnnnnnnnn....nah nah nahhhhhh... Laughing
Hollowhorn

Well...err...Ah'm verra much in touch wae ma feminine side.  Embarassed
Heidy

Aye Ah bet....whit bit ur ye "tutchin "en eh?



Paisley perv....
Shocked
AG

SengaMcp wrote:
Havers.

Ah wish ah luiked as young as that lassie.


If that lassie keeps shuvvlin popcorn ower her neck like that she's gonny huv tae walk a loat further past the size 9 stuff.
Clash

Re: Scary night in Glesca.

Boudleaux C Merkin wrote:
..... a fairly normal looking man of modest height and sporting a smile inducing comb-over. His wee feet wiz barely touching the flair as he rocked back and forth oan his chair entanced by the hustle and bustle aroon' him...?

That's the man. Ah found wan o them in The Commodore in Helensburgh a couple of years ago. He wis trying to pay his bill in chucky stanes but it turned out they wur actually auld useliss kidney wans.

        Forum Index -> Screivin
Page 1 of 1
Create your own free forum | Buy a domain to use with your forum