Medical adventureIn 1945 the Viennese that canít waltz, was working for a farmer.
One of his jobs was to fling down the hay from the loft to the coos in the milking byre.
Being an exuberant lad of 15 he didnít bother to climb down the ladder; just jumped into the hay.
He did his usual jump, only this time he landed on an unseen pitchfork that penetrated his right buttock from the bottom coming out just below his rib cage.
He was laying face down bellowing with pain when the auld Granny of the farm gave him a guid kick in the ribs & told him to stop the noise as it was upsetting the coos.
She was about 80 & toothless & she always scared him witless; now she reduced him to a groaning heap.
Seeing what he had done, she put her boot against his other hip & ripped the fork out.
Then she proceeded to strip off his leather britches.
He was mortified as the daughters of the house were all there perched on their milking stools.
The auld woman went to the corner of the byre & came back with a heap of cobwebs which she slapped none too gently on his much abused rear.
Adding insult to injury she then walked to the back of a large defecating coo cupped her hands caught the hot mess & slapped that on top of the cobwebs.
She then stripped off her grubby W*** apron & bound it all in place; firmly admonishing him not to touch it for 10 days.
He was so scared of the auld biddy that he did as he was told, having a hell of a job to hitch the makeshift bandage out of the way for natureís calls.
He expected to be dead in a few days anyway from blood poisoning; so glumly went about his W*** with a very stiff sore behind.
When the 10 days were up the auld woman called him over; by now he stank like a polecat & everyone was giving him a wide berth; told him to drop his pants, ripped off the foul mess, slapped his behind & told him to go sluice himself under the pump.
Clean & dressed once more he backed up to a mirror & all that he could see was a slight dimple & a small bluish dot where the prong had gone in.
Aye he still has the dimple & the dot.