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Heidy

Hehehe.....

Boaby & Davy, Conjoined Scottish Twins
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> An on duty Gendarme spots a hire car approaching the Champs Elysees with a rear light out. He beckons the driver to pull over, which he does and winds his window down. The Officer has a good look inside the car and notices that the driver and passenger are conjoined twins.
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> Instead of making an issue over the light out situation he begins to engage in some friendly chat.
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> Gendarme: Ah, you are on holiday my friends?
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> Davy: Aye, that's right, big yin. We've been coming every September weekend for the last 9 years.
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> Gendarme: So I guess you come to France to get away from ze rainy weather you have in Ecosse?
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> Davy: Naw, it nearly always pishes doon when we come here. Your weather's nae better than oors, in't that right Boaby?
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> Boaby: Aye.
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> Gendarme: Zen I take it you are here to enjoy our delicious French food, very healthy.
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> Davy: Naw, yer food's mingin, big man, everything reeks of garlic. We've brought a box full of pieces to avoid eating your shite.
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> Gendarme: Zen you must be here to drink our famous wines and cognac, surely.
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> Davy: Yer swally's boggin, we've hid tae bring a kerry oot. In't that right , Boaby?
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> Boaby: Aye.
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> Gendarme (by now ever so slightly bemused): Well in that case you must be here to see the Parisienne madamoiselles, ze most beautiful women in Europe .
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> Davy: Yer kiddin in't ye! The burds here are dugs, ah widnae touch them wae a ten fit pole big yin.
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> Gendarme (by now rather irate): Zen why do you people come to our country if everysing ees so bad?
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> Boaby: It's the only chance  'oor Davy gets tae drive…………..
Fey Hag

Very Happy Ah admit that yin tuik a wee while Heidy  Gotit noo  
alba

that's actually no a bad joke Hiedie....ur yie feelin ok??
Heidy

Ahm feelin ok Alba hows yersel?Here's anuur wan.....



Two Scots were spending a quiet Friday in Saudi Arabia watching

football on TV, and sharing a smuggled case of booze. All of a sudden

Saudi police rushed in, arrested them, and they were sentenced to death!

However, with the help of very good lawyers, they were able to

successfully appeal their sentence down to life imprisonment.



By a stroke of luck, it was a Saudi National Holiday the day the trial

finished, and an extremely benevolent Sheik decided they could be

released after receiving just 20 lashes each of the whip. As they were

preparing for their punishment, the Sheik suddenly said, "It's my wife's

birthday today, and she asked me to allow each of you one wish before

your whipping.



The Celtic fan was first in line (he had drank the least), so he

thought for a while and then said, "Please tie a pillow to my back."

This was done, but the pillow only lasted 10 lashes before the whip went

through. The Celtic fan had to be carried away bleeding and crying with

pain when the punishment was done.



The Rangers fan was next (he had finished off the crate) but before he

could say anything, the Sheik turned to him and said, "You support the

greatest team in the world, your team has the best and most loyal

football fans in the world. For this you may have two wishes."



"Thanks your Royal Highness," The Gers fan responded. "In recognition of

your kindness, my first wish is that you give me not 20, but 100

lashes."

"Not only are you an honorable, handsome and powerful man, you are also

very brave," the Sheik says with an admiring look on his face. "If 100

lashes is what you desire, then so be it. And your second wish? What is

that to be?" the Sheik asks.



"Tie the Celtic fan to my back..."

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