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Fey Hag

Euro-speak

The  European  Commission has just announced an agreement whereby English
will be the official language of the European Union rather than German,
which was  the other possibility.

As part of the negotiations, the British Government conceded that English
spelling had some room  for  improvement and has accepted a 5-year phase-in
plan that would become  known as "Euro-English".

In the  first year, "s" will  replace the soft "c". Sertainly,  this will
make the sivil servants jump with joy. The hard  "c" will be dropped in
favour of "k". This should  klear up  konfusion, and keyboards kan have one
less letter.

There  will be growing publik enthusiasm in  the sekond year when the
troublesome "ph" will be replaced with  "f".  This will make words like
fotograf 20% shorter.

In the  3rd year,  publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted  to
reach the stage where more komplikated changes are   possible.

Governments will enkourage the removal of  double  letters which have always
ben a deterent to akurate  speling.

Also, al wil agre that the horibl mes of the  silent "e" in the languag is
disgrasful and it should go  away.

By the 4th yer people wil be reseptiv to steps such  as replasing "th" with
"z" and "w" with "v".

During ze fifz  yer, ze unesesary "o" kan  be dropd from  vordskontaining
"ou"  and after ziz fifz yer, ve vil hav a reil  sensi bl riten styl.  

Zer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun  vil  find it ezi TU
understand ech oza. Ze drem of a united  urop vil finali kum tru.

Und  efter ze fifz  yer, ve vil al be speking German like zey vunted in ze
forst plas.

If zis mad you smil, pleas pas on to  oza  pepl.

Ah dinna ken why thee arnoo yoosin Skoats far easier kent.
Celyn

And with different spelling, Heidie would have aquariums/aquaria/big glass boxes full of ghoti.

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