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Boudleaux C Merkin

Bohemian whatsisface.

Ah'm indebted tae Jawbox fur this. The bastirt's too lazy to dae it hissel'. Prolly sunning hissel' oan sum palatial oil rig oan the golden sands of Norway.
Sing it tae the choon o' Bohemian Rhapsody...

Is this the real life?
Or is it the methodone?
Stuck in the Gorbals, two bob fur the telephone?
Open yer wine, an' talk wi' a meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!
Um just a weeji,
Gie us yer Sunny D
Cos I'll chib yer pal,
Rip yer da,
Slash yer dug,
Ride yer ma!
Any way the Clyde flows, disnae really matter tae me.....tae me.

Haw maw, just chibbed some bam
Buckie bottle tae the heid
Noo the f*kin' bustards deid!
Haw maw, um just oan parole
An noo I'm headin back tae Barlineeeee......
Haw Maw.......oohooh ooh
Never meant tae steal yer purse
But if I'm no fu' o' smack this time the morra'
Carry oot, carry oot!
An we'll go oot on the batter!

Too late...the bailiff's here
Sends shivers doon ma spine
Gubbed 10 jellies just in time
Goodbye all ma muckers, I've got tae go
Got to go and rip some w*nk fae up the scheme
Haw Maw.......oohooh oooh
I'm a jakey bam,
I sometimes think I've never been washed at all

I see a little silhouetto of a bam
Adidas! Adidas! Can ye get us some Kappa?
Thunderbird, White Lightning,
Very very Frightening, me!
Twenty Mayfair? (Twenty Mayfair!)
Twenty Mayfair? (Twenty Mayfair and some skins!)
Magnifico oh oh oh oh!
I'm just a fat boy, nae body loves me
He's just a fat boy fae a fat family!
Spare us a pound for a wee cup o' tea?

Get tae f*ck, skanky slob, will ye get a job?
For f*cksake.........NO I will not get a job
Get a job!
For f*cksake........ NO I will not get a job
Get a job........willnae get a job
Get a job........willnae get a job
no no no no no....

Oh gonorrheoea!
Gonnorhoea and the clap!
Then doon the pub, has the barman put aside
For me? For me,
For meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!

So you hink ye can slash me an pish in ma eye?
So ye hink ye can chib me an leave me tae die?
Haw bawbag!
Can't dae this tae me bawbag!
Just wait till I'm oot
Just wait till I'm right oot ma nut!!

F*ck all really matters, anyone can see
F*ck all really matters.....
F*ck all really matters.....
Tae meeeeeeeeeeeeeeee.........eeeeeeeeee.........eeeee eeeee!!!

Twisted Evil

nuvver vershun

Naan, just killed a man,
Poppadom against his head Had Lime Pickle Now He's Dead
Naan, Dinner's Just Begun
But Now I'm Gonna Crap it All Away
Naan, ohhhh ohhhhhh
Didn't mean to make you cry
Seen Nothing Yet Just See the Loo Tomorrow
Curry On, Curry On Cause Nothing Really Madras

Too Late, My Dinner's Gone,
Sends Shivers Down my Spine
Rectum Aching All the Time
Goodbye Onion Bhaji, I've got to go
Gotta Leave You All Behind And Use the Loo
Nann, Ohhhhh Ohhhhh
The Doopiaza is so Mild
I Sometimes Wish We'd Never Come Here at All
Curry On, Curry On Cause Nothing Really Madras

I See a Little Chicken Tikka on the Side
Rogan Josh, Rogan Josh, Pass the Chutney Made of Mango
Vindaloo Does Nicely Very Very Spicy Meat
Byriani (Byriani) Byriani (Byriani) Byriani and a Nann (A Vindaloo loo loo loo)

I've Eaten Balti, Somebody Help me
He's Eaten Balti, Get Him to the Lavatory
Stand you Well Back Cause the Loo is Quarantine
Here it Comes There it Goes Technicolour Yawn
I Chunder NO! It's Coming up Again (There he Goes)
Coming Back Again (Up Again)
Here it Goes Again (No, No, No, No, No, No NO)
On my Knees I'm on my Knees
On his Knees, Oh, There he Goes
This Vindaloo It's About to Wreck my Guts
Poor Me.... Poor Me..... Poor Meeee....

(Guitar Solo)

So you Think you can Chunder and Feel Alright?
So you try to eat Curry and Drink Beer all Night?
Oh Maybe, But now you Puke Like a Baby
Just had to Come out It Just had to Come Right out in Here

Korma, sag or bhuna
bhaji, balti or naan
Nothing makes a difference
Nothing makes a difference
Nothing makes a difference To meee....
Anyway, my wind blows....shshshsh

Fey Hag

Canae w**k oot if yir clappin ur flaggin thim awar? Shocked

Ah wis applaudin thur geniearse.

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