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admin

Bern!!!! How jolly nice to see you

A new member?
This place is meant tae be died!

Well........ Welcome anyway, Bern.

Maybe ye'll post something. Just say whit ye like - naebdie'll rrad it any way.
Naebdie ever comes here nae mair. The "Guests" are a' Bots, no akshull people. (Lachlan thinks fowlk are readin' his magnum opus - they urnae, cause Bots dinnae read. They jist haunt the "Howf" and - for some reason - the locked "Leki's Hut. They dinnae look at nuhin else.)
AG

Mibbae Bern is wan of thon fowk that kin stert a rammy in an empty hoose. If so, he or she hus come tae the right place then.... unless that is, ye kin huv a fight wi a bot.  Shocked

Who’se gonny haud the jaikits?
lachlan

that's bloody odd......

no idea why or how I ended up making a new thread.

Thon message is a welcome relief.....see am thinking thair might be some naughty stuff oan the horizen and as long as naebody is bothert readin, it wullnae fill we dread the herts of the innocent .....
is "admin" used because the person cuidnae spell moderatur ?
dosser

Thon's a very guid point, Tam. If nobody reads it, nobody'll be able tae say that it's gone from unreadable shite tae embarrassing shite.
lachlan

that's bloody odd......

True enough Dosser, yur post has given me the impetus tae carry on carryin on.
admin

Re: that's bloody odd......

lachlan wrote:
is "admin" used because the person cuidnae spell moderatur ?


Naw, Ah can spell it okay, but Ah cannae dae it. That's why Ah'm a Admin an' no' a Moderator.

Clash is a Moderator......... but, unfortunately he's gied up the drink. That's hoo yer magnum opus has survived this lang........  Clash isnae pished nae mair.

If it a' suddenly vanishes, ye'll ken Clash is back oan ra boattle again.
dosser

Re: Bern!!!! How jolly nice to see you

admin wrote:
Lachlan thinks fowlk are readin' his magnum opus - they urnae, cause Bots dinnae read.


Hud the phone here a wee minute, Mr Admin. I'm no' a Bot and I've read the first fower lines o' Lachlan's wee tale. And another member whit shall remain nameles huz read three-quarters o' the first part.

You jist carry on. Lachlan! Some peepel jist dinnae appreciate literature.
admin

Re: Bern!!!! How jolly nice to see you

dosser wrote:
And another member whit shall remain nameles huz read three-quarters o' the first part.



Dosser, at the risk o' seeming tae suggest that yer fellow member "whit shall remain nameless" might be a fucking liar, I find so an extravagant a claim ever so slightly difficult to take seriously.
dosser

Weel, comin' fae somebody whit cannae even spell my name right, that's rich.

It's dosser wi' a d - no' Dosser wi' a D.
Bern

I'm ashamed to say this but when some folks have touched yer heart in wan way or another you kinda just wantie say a hello.    But yis have been out of my reach.   Even if it was only in my own mind.   I just peeked in every now and again  as someone that just wants to wish good people nothing but joy, laughter and peace.   I was thinking about the lemon tree too and the special person that sits under it.    From me, wishing you lots of peaceful moments  to face the challenges ahead.
lachlan

that's bloody odd......

Welcome "Bern":
I havnae read, "The Lemon Tree" but the kindle will be shopping. I read yur post mair than once and am thinkin, mibee, just mibee.
dosser

Bern, thanks for your post.

If it's okay with you, I'll copy and paste your good wishes into an email to Senga. Jay promises to read them to her.

PS, check your pm's
AG

No quite a rammy... but gettin there. Noo whit did ah dae wi that popcorn?  Twisted Evil
ozneil

dosser wrote:
Weel, comin' fae somebody whit cannae even spell my name right, that's rich.

It's dosser wi' a d - no' Dosser wi' a D.



Well at least he used a "d"
Bern

The problem with rammies are that some people cannie tell the good guys from the bad wans.    They cannie read between the lines.
Until its too late.    I don't like rammies.   Daft people reply awe wrong to good people that have no intention of starting a rammie, thur simply voicing an opinion.    I would never get upset at a stupid opinion.    Naw me.....( as I blush at the shame of how cheesed off I used to get)
ozneil

Bern wrote:
The problem with rammies are that some people cannie tell the good guys from the bad wans.    They cannie read between the lines.
Until its too late.    I don't like rammies.   Daft people reply awe wrong to good people that have no intention of starting a rammie, thur simply voicing an opinion.    I would never get upset at a stupid opinion.    Naw me.....( as I blush at the shame of how cheesed off I used to get)



Never see the point in a rammie  gets you nowhere fast

BTW Bern are  you a male Bern or a female Bern?

If you would rather not say just write "nun"
admin

I can see things whit you lot cannae.

He's a Canadian Nun........... We've no had many o' them, but a' are welcome. So get stuck in and post whit ye like, Sister Bernard.
Bern

Well AG wid welcome a rammie.  A prefer TV maself.  Keeps yi aff the streets and ootie trubbil.  

Yi know the funny thing aboot rammies Oz.  We awe know they may get you nowhere at times,  but every single person  that reads them, participates, ignores, shuns, enjoys, agrees, disagrees etc. are the rammie.  

I'm female.   Not that it matters wan jot.    

And rammies do get you places. I think.   Took me to where I knew who had my back.  Look where a big wan got you.  It got you here.  Are you meaning emotionally where do they get you?   A helluva lot stronger and wiser, thats where they eventually get you.  Nawt useless to me at all.  Enlightening.  I would say rammies are enlightening.  

You, are you male or female?   Not that it matters either. ah cannie see anywan called neil wearing a frock.  These days online you never know.....the wifie could be the wan logging in to let us awe know how rammies got you nowhere.  

   Rolling Eyes  Smile
dosser

admin wrote:
He's a Canadian Nun........... We've no had many o' them, but a' are welcome. So get stuck in and post whit ye like, Sister Bernard.


A Canadian..............

Firstfoot wance had a brilliant Canadian member. Beerwardrobe.. If only he was back. He talked a lot o' guid sense. Especially aboot Did you mean Elsie?.

I think ScottishStockVet wiz Canadian as weel. She wrote a lot o'....... Well, she wrote a lot. But then the medication kicked in and she stopped.

I like Canadians. It's the cabin fever...... brings oot the best in them.
AG

Paul Beewardrobe... ah the famous edited empty posts wi just the three dots:

...

Cabin fever dosser? It must be some size o’ a cabin cos the whole uv Canuckland is hyooooooooge. Aye ah ken they huv hard winturrs annat ower there but maistly they’re ayewis able to get oot and the place keeps movin, no like us here whaur the place grinds tae a solid halt eftur a mere inch and a half of snaw.

There wis another individual that posted fae Canada in thon other place... Midgieraker. He wisnae a wummin tho and wis fae Van BC. Anywey talk aboot retrospective thinkin, that wis aw a long time ago.

BRW ah’m no a rammymonger Bern, ah’m a peaceable sowel really. It’s just that ah just dinnae huv a telly* and ah'm an auld curmudgeon.

*And nor dae ah want wan eithurr.
Bern

Ah know AG.    I sit here laffin at the thought of your real name.  Auld gentleman.   I'm none of the elite from above.  I cannie remember the midgieraker, gawd, you really her auld right enuff.    Ahm a mere minion and proud of it.    
I can count on you nottie tell me how Broadchurch ends you naw having ownership of a licence an awe that.   Yer missing that much good stuff.   Do yoo doo Netflix ur similar?
AG

Quote:
Auld gentleman
Shocked

Ah think if ah wis tae lay claim tae that moniker ah wid be very quickly shot doon.

Ah huv neither a TV license nor a TV receiver Bern, much tae the disbelief of the telly licensing stazi who huv been sending me threatening missives for five years now. Ah jist keep filing them and ignoring and they never ever fulfill their daft threats because they would look extremely silly.

Ah huv a radio tuned tae BBC Radio 4, internet for research & info, ah read lots and I spend loads of spare time in the great outdoors. Ah’ve neither the time nor the patience for TV.

Your turn.
Bern

I envy your lifestyle.   No tv is a sort of dream for me but the great one by my side insists on watching every sport that uses a baw.   I love the outdoors,  warm waters, snorkeling, footering with wee plastic boats that don't take you too far out.  I love a good read as weel.  Cannie be bothert with  stories that are too detailed   Give me murder and mayhem every time.   I dabble with lots.  Theatre and shows, ah do ah good tango and pride of erin waltz...... Right noo I support quite a few seniors keep their wee dance club running.    Fancy dances like old Scottish weddings kind of thing.   I hate gambling.   I'm a kick ass worker watching over teams of folks that provide care to some of the most disadvantaged people you'll ever meet.   That's my pride part.   That's the part of my life that truly makes me glow.     What makes you all glow?
admin

Bern wrote:
    What makes you all glow?


After a day like today, and on a rainy night such as this.......?


Whisky.
ozneil

admin wrote:
Bern wrote:
    What makes you all glow?


After a day like today, and on a rainy night such as this.......?


Whisky.


Sticking fingers in a power socket
Bern

A socket?    We call them plugs, ozneil.   I'm sorry that's the only thing that would make you glow.   Have he ever thought of trying whiskey or mibbies even Viagra.   Thurs gottie  be something that's quite important to you that makes you glow.  Surely.    Yer wife?   I know mine indoors is a magnificent fellah.   He makes me glow just thinking about him.    Him and the big lad and lassies I have.
Clash

It's awfy nice to see mair Burns all over the plaice. Dae you ken anything aboot ma boat wot I left in Greenock missis Burns? It wis sunk by this kunt cried Beewardrobe.
Clash

Aw fuck: why did you have to menshin Beewardrobe Auldie?

You are a complete f..... ar... and furthermore ma name isny ..... it's ..... and you're gonny regret the day that I stick my cok intae any of yer ori.....fices.....

Gie us anurrer day and ah'm gonny three dot you ya ....
AG

...







Up yours Clashy boay  Cool
dosser

Oh thankyou God!
Just when things were starting to make some sense in a dull sort o' way, Clash remembers where he left the key tae the wine cellar.
Bern

Okay.   Laughing hard at the surprise reply form clash.     Never a dull moment.  

I promise I'm not beewardrobe.   I simply use dots to pause.  
it's nae secret who I am either.  Hence the name I used.  
Also..... I only have a toatie  phone to log on with and the daft spell check slips words in that I didn't type oot.  

That and bad eyes.    I'm not the other guy that's dyslexic either.    I'm jhist as blind as a bat.    

I did meet tam wance.    I should add i had an unforgettable, memorable day oot.    Never tae be repeated.   I still cannie mind if I said a word.    I think I just listened.    I'm sure I listened a lot that day.  

Anyways, a wee hello to you all.
notanimby

Clash wrote:
It's awfy nice to see mair Burns all over the plaice. Dae you ken anything aboot ma boat wot I left in Greenock missis Burns? It wis sunk by this kunt cried Beewardrobe.


Why did ye leave yer boat in greenock, when wiz that?
dosser

notanimby wrote:


Why did ye leave yer boat in greenockt?


Why did ye even go tae Greenock? Surely them Somali pirates cannae hae extended ther range that far............. But unless ye were pished or , in the middle o' a serious mental brekdoon, Ah cannae think o' any ither rational reason why anybody wuild go tae Greenock.
dosser

Akshly, Ah've jist remembered that mah faither spent a wee while in Greenock when the first invasion o' Norway went tits-up and they a' hud tae scarper hame.
Maybes that's anither reason for visitin' Greenock - if yer kicked oot o' Norway an' hae tae run aboot a' ower the Atlantic tae dodge U-boats.

So ther ye have it. The only three guid reasons fer visitin' Greenock.

1) So pished ye dinnae ken whit yer da'en.
2) Mental health problems.
3) Nazis wantin' tae kill ye.
Bern

Ah still cannie come up with a good retort tae you dosser, yer kerd is marked, ah may add, wae a great big marker.  
If ah could stop guffawing an might manage a word or two but after another read this morning ahm debating calling in reinforcements.   Ah hope you can make a good forte tae bunker doon in.
notanimby

Being a Port Glasgow boy maself, I can readily concur that Greenock is indeed a shithole

They have been knocking sizeable chunks doon and building new "coonsil" hooses but alas they jist keep putting teh same scumbags in as ruined the last lot - typical greenockians
dosser

pipedoon wrote:
They yoosed tae hiv guid friendly rammies on FF.


Yoosed tae being the operative wurds. It a' got a bit heavy towards the end, sadly.

And this place........ Weel, ye'll hae guessed fae the non-deluge o' replies whit the score is here.
admin

pipedoon wrote:

Wha's the big wig in here, dis he no pit his big heid in noo and then?  
The modyratur that is.


Here Ah'm ur, but there's usually fuck-a' tae moderate so Ah dinnae come by that much.

Here's sum'hin Ah rote sum time ago oan a bit o' the forum yooze mortals cannae see cause it's jist fer important fowlk like me.



Maybe the best way to introduce you to The Bothy is to explain how it was born.

Until about three years ago, there was a trully brilliant (and by no means entirely Scottish) forum called Firstfoot. It was run by the much loved Fittie - a one-legged, Lebanese squillionairess who said that taking ourselves seriously isn't what Scots do best. The forum attracted hundreds of members from around the globe - and some glorious nutters, they were!

Thousands of wonderfully funny, mad, manic  posts - sadly, now lost forever.

Tragically, a few members began to take themselves seriously after all. Personal squabbles broke out.......... And the best thing I ever found on the internet just fell apart.

So, to try to recapture the mood and general looniness of Firstfoot, a few of us set up The Bothy.

We've been going for three years now, but it's only within the past few months that it seems to have livened up properly.

We're still nowhere as big and brilliant as Firstfoot, but if anything I've written above makes you think we might appeal to you, you'll find us here.

http://thebothy.myfreeforum.org/index.php
A' a bit sad really......
AG

...
Fey Hag

Ah cum in heir fer munths an yir nae heir turn mah back & yea awl start a rammie we oot me. Bastits!
Fey Hag

Reicht no ah've calmed doon an read aw ra keech am wipen mah ean after awl the FF memories.Embarassed


Welcum hame Bern  
Bern

Thankin yi so much Fey.   I missed you all.  Especially you.  

I've been crazy busy and it took me a while to keek back in.  I ahm ferr glad I did.    Hello Fey and how are you doing?  

Here's to positive energies.....
Very Happy
Fey Hag

Ah'm auld hen jist auld.

Kreekin in ean & limb.

Apart fra awl that; ah'm in great shape fer ra shape that ah'm in.,
Celyn

Fey Hag wrote:
Ah'm auld hen jist auld.

Kreekin in ean & limb.

Apart fra awl that; ah'm in great shape fer ra shape that ah'm in.,


Haha, Fey, that is sounding very Scottish.    Like other bits of misery wisdom (misdom?) like

"Aye, whit's fur ye will no go by ye".

and "We never died a winter yet".

Keep on creaking on!   Smile
Clash

What's that arseing thing in the top left corner? Fuck off thing in the top left corner! Dis anyone else see it? It is sitting there glaring at me and says "Paint Time" Frame Rate" "CPU"..... fuck off ya bastard. ...... Shyte...... I think ah'm turning into a schizo..... fuck off thing. ... am I the only one who sees it? .... die you bastard... I kid you not.... get you behind me ya kunt......

Old?... Auld?... I'll gie you old.

Whit the fuck wis I going on about?

Oh aye. It wis the Fey comment about herself (Fey) being old..... by Christ though Celyn.... Fey is really old isn't she? I mean really really old....  Fey telt me that she wis older than dosser and auldgit but even I couldny believe that. Mind you.... I wis telt that Bern wis nearly 70 years old but dosser telt me she wis mair like 40.

Canny mind the Scottish word for wanker.
notanimby

Clash wrote:
What's that arseing thing in the top left corner? Fuck off thing in the top left corner! Dis anyone else see it? It is sitting there glaring at me and says "Paint Time" Frame Rate" "CPU"..... fuck off ya bastard. ...... Shyte...... I think ah'm turning into a schizo..... fuck off thing. ... am I the only one who sees it? .... die you bastard... I kid you not.... get you behind me ya kunt......

Old?... Auld?... I'll gie you old.

Whit the fuck wis I going on about?

Oh aye. It wis the Fey comment about herself (Fey) being old..... by Christ though Celyn.... Fey is really old isn't she? I mean really really old....  Fey telt me that she wis older than dosser and auldgit but even I couldny believe that. Mind you.... I wis telt that Bern wis nearly 70 years old but dosser telt me she wis mair like 40.

Canny mind the Scottish word for wanker.


It's MacWanker.......

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