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Fey Hag

Auld'n gits Polis

George Phillips, an elderly cheil was gonnae up tae scratcher, when his guidwife tauld heem 'at he'd left th' lecht oan in th' garden shed, which she coods see frae th' bedroom windae.
George opened th' back duir tae gang turn aff th' lecht, but saw 'at thaur waur fowk in th' shed stealin' things. He phoned th' Polis, fa speart "is someain in yer hoose?" he said "no, but some fowk ur breakin' intae mah garden shed an' stealin' frae me."
Then th' Polis dispatcher said "Aa patrols ur thrang. Ye shoods lock yer doors an' an officer will be alang when a body is available." George said, "Okay." he hung up th' phain an' coonted tae 30.
Then he phoned th' Polis again.
"Hello, Ah jist called ye puckle seconds ago coz thaur waur fowk stealin' things frae mah shed.
Weel, ye dornt hae tae fash yerse abit them noo, coz Ah jist shot them." an' he hung up.

Within fife minutes, a scuttle Polis cars, a swat team, a helicopter, tois fire trucks, a paramedic, an' an ambulance showed up at th' Phillips' residence, an' caught th' burglars red-handed.

Ain ay th' policemen said tae George, "I thooght ye said 'at yoo'd shot them!"

George said, "I thooght ye said thaur was nobody available!

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